At Lumos Education, we’ve witnessed a real change in parents encouraging children to study the subjects that they love and enjoy. Rather than pushing them to study a subject with a guaranteed career at the end: such as medicine, law or accountancy.
I remember one family at my eldest child’s school. The father, a leading psychiatrist, was deeply frustrated that his daughter Sophia — who adored languages — struggled badly with maths and science. Every parents’ evening ended in increasing exasperation. After one visit to the maths’ teacher station, Sophia’s father was heard to let out a groan of exasperation. This behaviour continued year on year and, although my own children found it highly amusing, it was difficult and complex for Sophia’s family. Her father had sat his heart on his daughter studying medicine or biomedical science, but after years of cajoling, extra tuition and persuasion, it became clear that the science path simply wasn’t right for her. Sophia eventually read modern languages at university and now lives happily in Spain, where she is thriving professionally and personally.
Another family friend, a doctor, was equally determined that his son James should follow the family profession and join a long ancestral line of medics. James, however, wanted to act. His parents viewed acting as a hobby rather than a career, and he reluctantly applied to a leading medical school and was duly awarded a place. But in the months before starting, he repeatedly called the admissions office, describing, in detail, his growing collection of tattoos, along with his ambition to open a tattoo studio near Borough Market. ‘He was very well-mannered’ explained the admissions lady, ‘but he said the most bizarre things.’ Eventually, the university concluded he was unstable and therefore unsuitable for medicine. Toasting the success of his campaign, James reapplied, this time to drama school, and sailed happily off, completely sane. Much to the consternation of his parents, who, wringing their hands, were powerless to stop him.
Stories like these raise an important question: what happens when we force children into boxes shaped by parental expectations or society’s idea of success? In the short term, it may preserve the delicate family balance. But over time, it can lead to burnout, dissatisfaction and emotional strain.
At Lumos Education, we regularly meet students who drop out of university because they are studying subjects fundamentally unsuited to their abilities or interests. Trying to become someone you are not carries a real emotional cost.
Beyond a few vocational degrees — such as medicine, veterinary science or law — many subjects can lead to a wide range of careers. Courses like philosophy or classics develop analytical thinking, communication and creativity, all skills that remain valuable in a rapidly changing workplace shaped by AI and technological change.
A common parental mistake is expecting children to mirror our own ambitions — or fulfil the dreams we never achieved ourselves. As a violinist, but not a very good one, I hoped my younger daughter would love playing the violin. I enrolled her with an excellent teacher and spent countless evenings encouraging her practice. She had absolutely no interest. Each time I collected her from her lesson, and asked how it had gone, the teacher would say, ‘well… we tried for 10 minutes, and she spent the rest of the time doing handstands on the floor and asking if she could play with our dog.’ This continued for two years until a friend gently told me: ‘She’s a child — just let her be.’ So, I did.
Children flourish when given space to develop their own interests, talents and futures, rather than being forced into identities that do not fit them. As the poet Rumi wrote in the 1200s: “Your children are not your children… You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.” In 2026, those words still ring true.
As education, universities and the workplace continue to evolve, many future careers do not yet even exist. It makes sense, therefore, to allow young people to follow their own paths, discover what motivates them and build lives that genuinely suit who they are. Parents can — and should — guide. But forcing children towards someone else’s dream rarely ends well.
Johanna Mitchell
